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Why No One Ever Asks Me for a Blurb

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I despise the word

blurb.

Its approximation

to burp.

Its truncated

BS

on the back,

 

of that book

you feigned was

great, essential,  

a 21st-century

masterpiece,

not the piece

of shit it really was.

 

I haven’t got the

gumption

to tell it straight,

shooting at the centre

of the target,

felling the aspiring

poet in their hearth,

their flame

snuffed out at last,

never again

to inflict us  

with their clumsy

prosody,

their incessant

démodé,

their farcing

the quotidian.

 

I confess

to my own

hypocrisy:

 

the blurbist’s

constant usurping

of the stage,

the tossing of the

words in salad

bowls, without the sting

of vinaigrette,

 

the look-at-me

you fools

I’m surely

tempted to convey—

my praise

more poetic

than the poetaster-

disaster

within, embedded

like a landmine

between the covers.

 

So, my fellow bard,

ask me not

to laud your golden

verse, claim it’s

even better

than your last,

worth twice

the price

of purchase,

 

say your rhyme of

“June” with “spoon”

is so clearly innovative—

in an ironic

sense, of course,

knowing the slurp

of every plaudit

 

cannot  be ingested

with a fork,

a knife deliberately

dulled

on either side,

a utensil

in a month

that’s not the sixth—

 

open to the grifting

of my guile,

my wanton flattery.

 

 

 

Andreas Gripp

January 6, 2025


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