Get the rat's nest off your head
Get that crazy-ass mullet off your skull
Take your ass to the barbershop
Tell the barber that you're sick of
looking like an asshole
—from Cut the Mullet, by Wesley Willis
Paul McCartney
(as well as Linda)
gave the world
the mullet.
It’s a good thing
that he birthed The
Beatles first (with a little
help from his friends).
But imagine
if that wasn’t the
case:
that Wings
was his debut,
that the party-
in-the-back
and business-
in-the-front
was his only
claim to fame ;
that no one
gave a fuck
in ’71, this
unknown bloke
from Liverpool,
singing We’re So Sorry,
Uncle Albert
to a hall of fourteen
kids,
none of whom
focused on the song ,
just the asym-
metrical tresses
on his head,
unsuspecting
it’s all the rage
in ’89,
teens
tossing snowballs
at his skull
some cold December,
strolling hand-in-hand
with his merry wife,
blaming him
for all their shitty
yearbook pics,
frozen in forever,
angered by his
absence of remorse,
his donning a
Santa’s hat
to hide the mess,
that he’s simply
having a wonderful
Christmas time,
to our seething ,
everlasting
chagrin.
Andreas Gripp
August 13, 2024
RF Image
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