Clickbait

News sites have become

a one-trick pony.

My friend in California

read The Big One’s

Coming Soon—Here’s

Why

causing her to

toss her Dodgers’ tix:

front row, behind-the-

fucking plate,

and who wouldn’t

want the reason that

any moment now,

the concrete

will be cascading

on their skull?

New Yorkers fare

no better: Rats Are

Winning the War

Inside Our Sewers—

Here’s Why

as if the cause

will bring some comfort,

the pâtisserie on

Madison Ave—breathing a

bated sigh of much relief,

knowing the basis

why the vermin

are suddenly baked into

their scones, nibbling all the

seeds from every bagel,

their droppings

resembling pepper

juiced on steroids.

And it never-ever ends:

This Summer Will Sear Us

All—Here’s Why

Trump Will Be Suspending

the Constitution—Here’s Why

The World Will End

Tomorrow—Here’s Why

My dear, headline

editor, I appreciate

your paper

needs the views,

that you’re dependent

on our black cat

curiosity, our hanging

on your why

like it’s the bottom of the

ninth—bases loaded,

full count,

the reliever with only

one pitch in his arsenal,

locked into his windup

like it’s the final thing on

earth he’ll ever throw.

Andreas Gripp

February 19, 2025

RF Image